Congratulations on Your Martyrdom! by Zachary Tyler Vickers

Author:Zachary Tyler Vickers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Indiana University Press
Published: 2016-05-15T00:00:00+00:00

I couldn’t sleep. I took a sick day and kept going back and forth between the couch and the bed until the phone rang.

“You picked up,” Meg said.

She worked at an Internet dating company. Went by “Miranda” there. She always came home smelling of saddle soap. I wanted to ask if she could still smell it on herself, but I didn’t. She was just another stranger now.

I traced the mouth of the phone with my finger. “So,” I said.

“So,” she said. “So, so, so.”

“How’s work?”

“Work is work is work is work,” she said.

I thought about making a joke to lighten the mood, or asking about her mother.

Her phone-static breaths were driving me up the wall and into the light fixture.

“I hear you quit plumbing?” she said.

She was still close by enough to get wind of the grapevine, or the grave gripes. One of her friends was dating one of mine from the union who now did home installations for Fundamentals. I didn’t ask about her. Couldn’t bring myself to find out if some new man had his dead-skinned feet up on her coffee table.

“Quit makes it sound like a bad thing,” I said, already accusing her.

She didn’t answer.

“Well,” I began but hadn’t thought beyond that.

“You seeing anybody?”

“Maybe,” I said. “Maybe not.”

I moved my finger as if to play with the phone cord. But it was wireless.

She exhaled and static exploded. “I can’t talk long,” she said.

“Got plans?” I asked, sick in the gut.

“Maybe,” she snapped. “Maybe not.”

“Fine,” I said. “Why don’t you just tell me where you found them this time?”

“Underneath my breasts,” she said.

I thought of the mole above her hip, its feel and shape. The Alamo, I called it.

“Want me to come over there and burn all your paper for you?”

She snorted. “Mr. Fix-it.”

I got hot in the face. That tone of hers.

“I’m the one who pounded on your door,” I said. “Fists swelled up so bad you couldn’t even see the knuckles. So don’t do me any favors.”

I didn’t know what that last part meant. I was breathing heavy. I sort of hoped she’d hung up. I hated myself for that cowardice.

Then my gut dropped.

She laughed. One I’d never heard from her. I felt like a pet. The phone grew heavier. Didn’t know she was capable of such a thing. Didn’t know what I was capable of. Didn’t know much of anything about anything, really.

“I didn’t answer the door because I had paper cuts all over my face. And fingers. I didn’t want you to see me like that. I didn’t think you’d give up so quick. I couldn’t dial the phone or type. I called in sick. My therapist thought I should let you know.”

“Why is your therapist talking about me?”

The way she was swallowing. I still knew what that meant. I loosened.

“That child grew inside me. You have no idea what I’ve been through.”

She was right. I wanted to help. Her in that tub. But I’d named what had happened to her with blunt force. Said the word as if I’d earned the right or could know it as my own.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.